The question “I’m a stay-at-home dad and we’re struggling on my wife’s $85K salary. Should I return to work and pay for day care?” reflects a widespread financial dilemma, as child care expenses across the United States have surged, often surpassing monthly rent in many metropolitan areas. These escalating costs consume a significant portion of household income, prompting families to critically evaluate the net financial benefit of a second income after accounting for substantial child care fees.
Key Implications:
- Escalating Child Care Burden: Child care costs have risen 35% since 2019, now frequently exceeding monthly rent in 85 major metropolitan areas and consuming an average of 22% of household income.
- Net Financial Benefit Evaluation: For stay-at-home parents, the substantial cost of child care significantly reduces the financial advantage of returning to work, requiring a careful calculation of actual net income after these considerable expenses.
- Employment Type Trade-offs: The choice between part-time and full-time employment involves balancing potential earnings—where full-time net income is notably reduced by child care costs for two children—against qualitative aspects like family time, career progression, and logistical demands.
Child Care Costs Rise 35%, Surpassing Rent in 85 Metros
Child care expenses across the United States have seen a substantial increase, complicating financial decisions for many families. These costs now frequently surpass major household expenditures such as monthly rent. This challenging situation directly impacts considerations for a second income within a household.
A LendingTree study reveals that child care costs exceed monthly rent for an infant and a 4-year-old in 85 out of 100 analyzed metropolitan areas. This statistic underscores the immense financial pressure on households. The overall average cost of child care per child increased by 35% from 2019 to 2024, according to Child Care Aware of America data.
The Escalating Financial Burden on Families
The rising cost of child care presents a significant financial burden. Data indicates that the average parent allocates 22% of their household income to child care expenses, as reported by Care.com’s 2025 Cost of Care Report. This substantial portion of income highlights the strain on family budgets.
Many families struggle with these high expenditures. Nearly 60% of parents spent at least $9,600 on child care last year. For two children, the average weekly day care expense totals an impactful $598, translating to over $31,000 annually. This makes the question of whether child care costs rivaling college tuition a tangible concern for many.
Evaluating the Net Benefit of Returning to Work
For stay-at-home parents, the decision to return to the workforce often hinges on the net financial benefit after accounting for child care costs. Given the substantial financial outlay, the increased income from a new job may be significantly offset. This complex calculation requires careful consideration of the true value of returning to work and paying for day care.
The high cost of care can dramatically reduce the financial advantage of a second income. For instance, a stay-at-home dad considering returning to work might find a large portion of their potential earnings consumed by day care fees. This scenario prompts a critical re-evaluation of household budgets and employment strategies, especially when contemplating the realities of care for stay-at-home parents and the impact of soaring day care expenses.
When families are struggling on a single income, such as a wife’s $85K salary, the financial implications of child care become paramount. Therefore, understanding the total cost of care is crucial before deciding to re-enter the labor market. The decision for a stay-at-home dad to return to work and pay for day care involves balancing potential earnings against these considerable expenses.
Financial Returns of Re-Entering the Workforce After Childcare Expenses
The decision for a stay-at-home parent to return to work and potentially pay for day care involves a thorough evaluation of both financial and lifestyle factors. This complex choice necessitates careful consideration of net income after child care, potential career growth, and personal capacity. Part-time and full-time employment options present distinct financial and lifestyle trade-offs for families.
Quantifying Financial Outcomes
Returning to work requires a detailed analysis of the financial impact, particularly concerning child care expenses. A comparative overview of part-time versus full-time employment demonstrates varying net incomes after taxes and child care costs for two children. These calculations are crucial for understanding the real financial benefit of re-entering the workforce.
| Employment Type | Gross Monthly Income | Net Monthly Income (After 15% Tax Deduction) | Net Income After Full-time Child Care (2 Children) |
|---|---|---|---|
| Part-time (20 hours/week @ $30/hour) | ~$2,040 | ~$2,040 (before subtracting part-time child care costs) | Not explicitly defined |
| Full-time (40 hours/week @ $40/hour) | ~$6,400 | ~$5,440 | ~$3,040 |
The financial figures highlight significant differences. A full-time role generates substantially higher gross income, leading to a greater net income even after an estimated 15% tax deduction. However, the considerable cost of full-time day care for two children, estimated at $2,400 per month (calculated from $598/week), markedly reduces the final net income from a full-time position. Families must budget for these expenses, which can be comparable to, or even exceed, college tuition in some regions (Kii.kr).
Qualitative Aspects of Re-Entry
Beyond the financial calculations, the decision to return to work encompasses important qualitative benefits and drawbacks. Part-time employment offers increased flexibility and more family time, which can be invaluable for personal well-being and child development. However, this option often provides fewer opportunities for significant career advancement or professional growth.
Conversely, full-time employment typically presents clearer pathways for career progression and skill development, contributing to long-term financial security and professional identity. The logistical demands of re-entering the workforce, such as adjusting to new routines and managing household responsibilities alongside employment, require careful consideration. Emotional factors, including the potential for guilt over reduced time with children or the satisfaction of renewed professional engagement, also play a significant role.
Historically, a notable percentage of parents have opted not to work for pay. In 2021, for example, 18% of parents were not employed for wages. Within this group, dads constituted 18% of stay-at-home parents in 2021, representing an increase from 11% in 1989. This trend indicates a growing acceptance of varied family structures and caregiving roles (Kii.kr). For a stay-at-home dad contemplating returning to work, understanding these broader societal shifts can provide context. The costs of day care can also be a source of frustration, as parents worldwide often express concerns over soaring expenses (Kii.kr).
Featured image generated using Flux AI
LendingTree: “Child Care vs. Rent Study”
Care.com: “2025 Cost of Care Report”
Pew Research: “Almost 1 in 5 Stay-at-Home Parents in the US Are Dads”